read at your own risk... i'm one step away from the edge. well.. i had good intentions but it's not looking good for a mexico racing report. things have just been toooooo busy... and to be quite honest, i'm also a little burned out right now. crazy right... it's february and i'm having a tough time even looking at my bike. is this the beginning of the end of the surfnick?? i don't know... when i was racing with waddell and co., he once told me that when it's time... i'll know it. he knew it and hasn't looked back since... do i know it now... or am i just going through another valley? some might think i'm intoxicated again typing some stoopid rant... but i'm completely sober. in fact, i haven't had a glass of wine all week ; ) my beautiful wife and daughter are asleep in bed... and i can't sleep. i laid there trying but my soul's working overtime... how much longer i can fool myself... dunno... a week, a year possibly... i'm not sure. there used to be a time i had trouble sleeping cause i was so excited to wake up for the big group ride.. or cause i wanted to ride a new road i found on a map 65mi's from my house. well my friend.. those times are long gone. they've actually been gone for a long while now.. it's just that i fought through it time and time again. i tired now... there's not much fight left in me. it's kind of sad actually... i'm scared to quit. it's been such a big part of my life for so long, i can't see myself without it. what do i do?? i'm not really the stay at home type... don't get me wrong. i love spending time with my family but i always have to be doing something... something to keep me sane... err.. i guess something to keep me from being completely insane ; ) well... for now... i guess i need to do a little soul searching. i need to dig deep... and find the magic i once had. i know it's there... somewhere. just nicK